Blonde:
-Excuse me, what time is it right now?
Woman:
- It's 11:25 pm
Blonde (with a confused look on her face):
- You know it's the wierdest thing, I've asked that question thirty times today and every time someone gives me a different answer...
torsdag 17 mars 2011
tisdag 15 mars 2011
the joke of 2011-03-15
A guy was driving his car at the speed of 80 mph when he saw the flashing red and blue lights.
thinking that the cop might not be able to catch him, he accelerated to 110 mph. he finally came to some sense and pulled over to the side. the cop stepped out, took his license and examined it without a word, he then looked at the driver and said:
- i've had a though shift and this is my last pullover. i don't feel like doing anymore paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that i haven't heard before, then you can go!
the driver blinked only once while his brain struggled to find a good reply.
- last week my wife ran away with a cop, he said, and i was afraid you were trying to give her back!
-Off you go! said the officer.
thinking that the cop might not be able to catch him, he accelerated to 110 mph. he finally came to some sense and pulled over to the side. the cop stepped out, took his license and examined it without a word, he then looked at the driver and said:
- i've had a though shift and this is my last pullover. i don't feel like doing anymore paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that i haven't heard before, then you can go!
the driver blinked only once while his brain struggled to find a good reply.
- last week my wife ran away with a cop, he said, and i was afraid you were trying to give her back!
-Off you go! said the officer.
compensating for the missed joke yesterday
A man walks into a bar and asks for six shots of vodka. The bartender says:
-six shots? whats wrong?
-I found out that my older brother is gay," replied the man.
The next night, he walked into the bar again and asked for six shots of vodka.
- What now? asked the bartender.
- i found out that my younger brother is gay! Replied the man.
thee night after that, the man walked into the bar again and asked for six shots of vodka.
- Geez, does ANYBODY in your family like women? asked the bartender.
The man replied:
- Yeah my wife does...
-six shots? whats wrong?
-I found out that my older brother is gay," replied the man.
The next night, he walked into the bar again and asked for six shots of vodka.
- What now? asked the bartender.
- i found out that my younger brother is gay! Replied the man.
thee night after that, the man walked into the bar again and asked for six shots of vodka.
- Geez, does ANYBODY in your family like women? asked the bartender.
The man replied:
- Yeah my wife does...
söndag 13 mars 2011
the joke of 13 march 2011
A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.
she goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. she points the gun at her boyfriend and stares him down for a moment.
then suddenly, she's overcome with grief, so she puts the gun up to the side of her head.
her boyfriend screams, "honey don't do it..."
The blonde yells back, "Shut up! you're next!"
she goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. she points the gun at her boyfriend and stares him down for a moment.
then suddenly, she's overcome with grief, so she puts the gun up to the side of her head.
her boyfriend screams, "honey don't do it..."
The blonde yells back, "Shut up! you're next!"
fredag 11 mars 2011
joke of the day 2011-03-11
i dont have too much time today so heres a short one for you guys:
a little girl asked santa to send her a sister.
Santa said: i can fix it but on one condition, send me your mother!
a little girl asked santa to send her a sister.
Santa said: i can fix it but on one condition, send me your mother!
torsdag 10 mars 2011
the joke of 10 of march 2011
a cop pulls over a carload of nuns
cop: sister this is a 65 MPH highway -- why are you going so slow
sister: i saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65
cop: oh sister, that's not the speed limit, thats the name of the highway your driving on!
sister: oh silly me! thanks for letting me know. ill be more careful.
At this point the cop looks in the backseat of the van and there he sees the other nuns shaking and trembling.
cop: excuse me, sister , whats wrong with your friends back there? they're shaking something terrible.
sister: oh, we just got off of highway 120.
cop: sister this is a 65 MPH highway -- why are you going so slow
sister: i saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65
cop: oh sister, that's not the speed limit, thats the name of the highway your driving on!
sister: oh silly me! thanks for letting me know. ill be more careful.
At this point the cop looks in the backseat of the van and there he sees the other nuns shaking and trembling.
cop: excuse me, sister , whats wrong with your friends back there? they're shaking something terrible.
sister: oh, we just got off of highway 120.
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